Archive for ‘family’

March 27, 2012

Scenes From the Long Weekend

Usually I look back at the weekend and wonder where it went, but this past weekend was so jam-packed for us that I know exactly where it went.  It felt like the perfect mix of down-time, adventure, and socializing.  It feels really good to know that we truly got the most out of the past three days. Smile 

We woke up early Saturday morning for Ben’s second half marathon, the Valley to the Sea, which starts up at ‘Iao needle, includes about a mile beach run, and makes its way to the Whale Sanctuary in Kihei.  It was a nice small race, a gorgeous day for a long run, and Ben smashed his goal of running a sub-2:15:00 half! 

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It turned out to be the perfect day for a long run, as the rest of it was filled with food!  After a quick shower, we headed to our friends’ baby shower.  My friend/classmate Christina is due about five weeks ahead of me – at the end of May – and her friendship has been so incredibly meaningful to me as we navigate the journey of school and pregnancy together.  It was so much fun to hang with her and her family for a few hours. 

After the baby shower we came home and watched Crazy Stupid Love, which I liked a lot more than I imagined I would…

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and then we ended the night at a 1st Birthday Lu`au with my family. Smile  It’s hard to believe that my cousins’ kids are old enough to tell me how they’re doing at school [one of them is in college already!] but I absolutely adore them! 

Sunday was my twenty-seventh birthday, so I got to sleep in while Ben made me pancakes!  We had breakfast in bed and lazed around for the morning before heading to a hair-cutting/styling fundraiser.  I usually like to wait until my hair is long enough to donate it, but I realized that I only cut my hair once since I last donated it.  I figure it needed a bit of a style so I told the lady to do whatever she wanted with it.  She wound up cutting about 4 inches off the length, adding a bunch of layers, and then curling it [which fell out in a matter of minutes]. 

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[My Momma gifted me to the new ‘do… encouraging me to pamper myself Smile]

The rest of the day was filled with more pampering and lots of love from friends and family!  I feel so fortunate to be surrounded by so many incredible people! 

Yesterday was Prince Kuhio Day so Ben and I got to adventure together!  We had a picnic at the beach and then got to play in the water for a while.  We spent time reading our books on the beach and then just followed as our intuition told us where we should go next.  I love days without plans! 

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It’s now Spring Break for me which means I get a break from grad school, teaching, and practicum [but not really, since I have three papers to research + write].  Ben’s birthday is also on Friday, so there’s a lot to look forward to!  I have so much to do that I feel like this week is actually going to be more busy than usual. 

I’m glad I’ve got a great weekend to think back on as I’m getting all my stuff done! 

Aloha Pumehana. Whether you’re here to find balance, wholesome recipes or inspiration, I hope you enjoy the posts.  Please subscribe to Green Plate Dinners to receive automatic updates and be the first to read new posts!

March 19, 2012

Feeling Beautiful While Hapai

Hey friends! 

You’ll have to excuse my absence from the blog all last week.  Ben’s parents were visiting from Seattle so I decided to check out from my day-to-day responsibilities and just be present with the ‘ohana. 

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Needless to say, it was wonderful having them here for a week and both Ben and I are missing them terribly already.  Lucky for us they’ll be back soon after the baby’s arrival, so the wait won’t be too long this time around. 

One thing I really missed writing last week was my 24 week Healthy + Hapai post.  I’ve really come to enjoy writing those updates – it really helps me to be able to share my thoughts and experiences, and I just know that when I look back on this journey I’ll be glad I kept a written log with photos. 

Tomorrow I make 25 weeks so I’ll be posting a 24/25 week update shortly, but today I want to address a topic I’ve been struggling with while it’s still so fresh in my mind:

Feeling Beautiful While Hapai. 

[warning: the following could be 100% hormone-driven.]

Let me start by saying that my body is doing incredible things right now. More than I could ever imagine. And I am so grateful for it all.

I’ve heard so many women say that they’ve never felt as beautiful as when they were pregnant, and that they truly felt in their element throughout the whole experience.  While I certainly feel more purposeful and loved at this point in my pregnancy journey, I haven’t been feeling so beautiful. 

I always said I couldn’t wait til my belly started to pop and I began showing; I’ve always wanted to experience the feeling of a growing baby.  But I have to be honest and say that actually seeing my body change – watching as the belly comes in full steam ahead, feeling lumpy, having none of my clothes fit, and growing thick, dark hair in strange places – isn’t as easy as I thought it would be.  

In fact, I had a complete melt down yesterday about it. 

It all started on Saturday night.  After trying on three different outfits for a baby lu`au, I succumbed to an outfit I wasn’t so happy with – black tights and a white flowy top.  I felt uncomfortable in my outfit, but moreso I felt uncomfortable in my own skin.  I felt self-conscious all night. 

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The next day I looked in the mirror at my ever-expanding belly and thought, How could anyone find me attractive looking like this?!  I told Ben how unattractive I felt, and then I burst into tears.  Big, beady, uncontrollable tears.  I tried to compose myself but I had already lost it.  All these years I’ve worked on losing weight and being healthy for this exact reason – so that I could become a Mama – but as it turns out, that still doesn’t make it easier to watch my curves disappear and the pounds come back on. 

Poor Ben tried so hard to bring me back around but nothing was working.  When he said, ‘You’re doing the most beautiful thing possible… You’re creating our baby’, I retorted with, ‘That makes me purposeful, not beautiful!’. 

The only thing I could think of to make myself feel better was to put on my workout clothes and go for a long walk.  While I walked, I thought about self-image and self-esteem, and what exactly I’m teaching the baby already.  The negative emotions that are attached to the way I see myself… still envisioning myself as a worthless, overweight teenager… I hope my child never has to experience those first-hand. 

I hope this baby knows that those emotions have nothing to do with him/her, and that I would gladly gain as much weight as necessary for him to be healthy and happy.  I look forward to my child having a healthy sense of self-worth that isn’t tied to his or her looks, but rather his or her character.  I recognize that it’s never too early to start fostering that sense of self-worth, and that Ben and I can truly set the greatest examples starting now. 

I came home and apologized to Ben.  I wrote, because that’s how I process things.  And then I visited this website:

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This weight-related-to-self-worth issue has been something I’ve struggled with my entire life and I know that any change is going to take time and practice for the rest of my life… but I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn, to share, and to (hopefully) help create a new reality for my child.

This journey continues to bring such huge surprises and learning opportunities for me.  Truth be told, half the time I write these pregnancy-related posts and feel like an overreactive, emotional mess.  But then I take a step back and recognize that this is the journey.  The fun, the not-so-fun, the doubts… all of it.  And I feel fortunate to be able to share my experiences as I navigate them. 

What do you do to make yourself feel beautiful? 


Aloha Pumehana.
Whether you’re here to find balance, wholesome recipes or inspiration, I hope you enjoy the posts.  Please subscribe to Green Plate Dinners to receive automatic updates and be the first to read new posts!

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